The Stranger Game

the stranger game 200x300 The Stranger Game

The Stranger Game

Bloop! Jenna’s PDA signals a new email as she munches on her bland leafy green salad outside a chain café downtown.  She rummages for the phone in her oversized purse hurriedly only to find that it is an email from her husband, Jeff.

“Meet me at Bloozer’s at 9pm. Dress like you’re 22 and single and bring clothes for work tomorrow.”

What the hell? Jenna types back, furiously, “What about the kids? I have a nail appointment tonight!”

“The kids have plans,” Jeff responds.

“What about my nail appointment?” Jenna’s question is met with no response.

Jenna’s walk back to work is spent tossing Jeff’s intentions over and over in her mind. Why would he be so inconsiderate of my plans? What the hell are the kids doing tonight? They’re six and ten. They don’t have plans. It’s a damned school night! This had better be worth my time or someone’s toothbrush is being used to brush the dog’s teeth tomorrow.

Jeff is not answering his phone and Jenna finds herself getting angry as she parks her car in the Bloozer’s parking lot. Jenna and Jeff met at Bloozer’s about eleven years ago. It hadn’t changed a bit. Jenna’s black strappy heels stick to the floor as she steps into the smoky bar. She scans the room for Jeff but doesn’t see him. Her irritation increases and she finds herself feeling slightly self-conscious.

“Hey! Yer real pretty.” Jenna spins around to see a man, slightly impaired, nursing a beer at the bar.

“Excuse me?”

“I said yer real pretty. You wanna have a drink with me?”

“No thank you. I’m married.” Jenna shouts over the music and white noise. She feels naked in her short black dress and thinks that when she sees Jeff, she’ll punch him real hard for making her do this.

“Just cuz yer married, don’t mean ya can’t drink for free, lil’ lady. Whatcha usually drink with yer old man?”

“Um . . . whiskey. On the rocks, please.” The man compliments her on her taste in hard liquor, orders her the drink, pays for it, and, surprisingly, leaves her alone. Jenna sips it, still irritated and still contemplating the delivery of her punch to Jeff.

“Excuse me,” a familiar voice says from behind her. “I noticed you standing here and wondered what such a beautiful woman was doing all by herself.” It was Jeff. Jenna’s eyes squint as she prepares to unleash a barrage of questions when Jeff extends his hand and says, “I’m Jeff. What’s your name?”

Huh? What the . . .  Then it hits her. Two months ago, they were reading a magazine about ways couples can spice up their marriage. There was one called, The Stranger Game, where couples meet up at singles hangouts and pretend to have one night stands with each other. She’d said she liked the idea, but Jeff thought it was stupid and a complete waste of time.

“Uh . . . Jenna,” she stammers as she stares at her husband, dressed all sexy-like and looking smooth. Jenna’s frustration with him melts as she shakes his hand. Awww . . . how sweet.

The rest of the night is spent talking and flirting like two young, irresponsible singles. They drink a lot, flirt wildly, and then take a cab to a nearby motel, where they screw the hell out of each other in ways they’d never imagined as a married couple. The fantasy enables them to explore each other in new ways and not let the monotony of their routine (like dinner and homework and dishes) get in the way.

The two take a cab back to the bar in the morning and both return to their cars. Jenna finds that changing is difficult in 55-degree weather and that gas station toothpaste just isn’t the same when you have to use your finger as a toothbrush. But it was all worth it. Coming home to Jeff the next night, not speaking of their exchange, treating it like a true one-night-stand, made for great sex throughout the entire week!

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The Kissing Game

the kissing game 199x300 The Kissing Game

The Kissing Game

The rules are established.  A movie is chosen.  You drink every time a door slams, someone spits, or says the word, “pickle.” You finish your drink and refill whenever shoelaces are mentioned and the game continues into the night until everyone is completely wasted, most are only partially clothed, and at least one is vomiting into a salad bowl.  This is the classic Drinking Game I played in my early twenties.

But alas, my early twenties are over.  In their place are fun-filled days of office drudgery, evenings spent by making dinner, and chasing a small child around the house while pleading with my husband to stop giving him cookies before bedtime.  On the rare Saturday evening that we spend alone, my husband and I can easily find ourselves confused and bewildered.  It seems like a good opportunity to get in some quality time and focus on our intimacy, simultaneously, but how?

And so I return to my roots as an adult!  The Drinking Game!  Easily converted into a sexy game for couples, I present you with . . . The Kissing Game.  In this game, you and your partner will choose a movie and then set rules.  You’ll choose five (or so) actions to be watched for in the movie, called “triggers.”  Also, you will choose five corresponding responses that you and your partner must perform when the triggers occur.   What makes this sexy, you ask?  The responses!

Every time a trigger occurs onscreen, you must kiss your partner.  You cannot kiss the same place twice.

I’ll give you two examples.  The first example is the movie, The Princess Bride, a Rob Reiner film about pirates and princesses and love and all that squishy crap.  Chicks love it.

Rules:

Kiss your partner each time:

  1. You hear, “Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die.”
  2. You hear the name, “Humperdink”
  3. Vizzini says the word, “Incontheevable!”
  4. Anyone is shown swordfighting.
  5. You hear, “As you wish.”
  6. Them movie cuts back to Fred Savage and Peter Faulk.
  7. Westley defeats a new obstacle or enemy.

My second example is the movie, Beetlejuice.  What?  Tim Burton movies aren’t sexy, you say?  Hmph!  Irrelevant!

Kiss your partner each time:

  1. The Handbook for the Recently Deceased is shown or mentioned.
  2. The town model is shown or mentioned.
  3. Sandworms are shown or mentioned.
  4. Lydia takes a photo.
  5. Delia’s sculptures are shown or mentioned.
  6. Charles mentions wanting to relax
  7. Someone says or attempts to say the name, “Beetlejuice.”

You’ll have kissed every inch of your partner’s body and, provided you’re not a major prude, their genitalia has got to have been one of those parts.  Who knows . . . with all that kissing, you may just find yourself stopping the game for a quick round of some even sexier play!

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