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Once upon a time… in a life time far away… the mere wisp of a thought of your man caused a quivering wave to hit you below the belt and melted you on the spot. Wasn’t that nice?
Waiting for him to show up at your door freshly shaven, smelling oh so fine, destined to kiss you before the night was over… getting turned on was no big deal!
Remember way back then? That delicious sensation of anticipation? So – what happened?
If you and your darling man have fallen into a sexual rut, don’t panic. No matter how you landed there, you’re reading this blog and learning from the yearning.
The good news is you can break out of the routine and spice things up right away at home with just a couple of new tricks and tools. You may even start melting while reading this post – taking responsibility for your sensual, intimate journey can cause a powerful reaction!
Perhaps your sweetheart may be a bit shocked at first, but believe me, he will rise to the occasion in no time!
Lubrilicious Love
Using lubricants is both fun and seductive, especially as foreplay. As your guy is heading out the door, lean in real close and tell him you have a surprise waiting for him that night. Then send him a naughty text during the day to build anticipation. In fact, send a few…..
As your surprise unfolds and the steamy moment begins, relax and start off stroking massage oil over each other’s body. Often the simple sensation of slippery skin can be achingly erotic. I love the JimmyJane candle which, after burning for awhile, becomes warm massage oil. A wonderful sable brush is included so your partner can stroke your body with the hot oil – or you his – be still my heart!!!
I also recommend using Blossom Organics’ Moisturizing Lubricant and Zestra to enhance the ‘oh my and sigh’ to your intimate moment. These and many other sensuous products can be found at Bring Back Desire.
When the two of you are nicely warmed up, slather on an edible lube where ever you would like to nibble or be nibbled. You can put it on him, watch him lube himself or let him watch you. I hope you locked the bedroom door!
Viva la Vibrator!
Want to ramp it up a notch and bring back more than a wisp of fond, melting memories? Add a vibrator to the party!
It’s ok – you’re in good company. According to Dr. Laura Berman’s research center more women dabble with vibrators than you may think. Nearly 60 percent of women in relationships get into their vibe regularly, and the single gals come (no pun, really!) in just over 33 percent in the vibe category.
Here’s some frosting for you: women who use a vibrator have more sexual interest and desire; better arousal; easier and more frequent orgasms; and less pain during and after sex. In addition, better sexual function was linked to higher levels of sexual satisfaction and even enhanced quality of life. Good to you and good for you – is this exciting news or what?!
Don’t worry about your man being hesitant or jealous; research shows two-thirds of partners were found to be supportive of vibrator play. (Are you kidding, he would LOVE to watch…ask him!)
As you work to Bring Back Desire between you and your guy, try these toy box favorites: the Rabbit Habit (Charlotte’s fave from Sex and the City), the Silver Bullet (yes, wonderful things do come in small packages!), We-Vibe II (built for two!), and the Bunny Tickler (accessories are a girl’s best friend!).
Lather on the lube and buzz your way to bliss – the quivering waves of yesteryear will be with you again – only they’ll be better and stronger!
Andrea Lyons is the founder and CEO of Bring Back Desire a playful, tasteful website where women from around the world are rediscovering sensual pleasure and intimacy. BringBackDesire.com helps a gal “get out of her head and back into bed”!
Bring Back Desire is pleased to provide a free PDF copy of “Party Favors” – a sensual erotic short story about some rather adventurous couples… it’s written by the sensational author, Amelia James. Click here to download your copy now.
I completely agree that using lubrication during foreplay and, of course, during sexual intimacy can really enhance pleasure! I find that whenever I bring out the toys and lube (all the time lately), both my man and I become very present yet playful with each other. Additionally, it’s brought us closer as we open up more and explore new ways to enjoy our bodies together.
I’ve never used anything as good or amazing as Sex Butter and now cannot imagine having sex (either alone or with my partner) without it. My sex life with my partner was already great, but the butter has sent us both over the moon! It’s particularly wonderful if you’re experiencing perimenopause (like me), menopause, or any kind of dryness issues. It’s completely organic, edible, smells like a chocolate-mint truffle and I actually use it on other parts of my body where my ultra-sensitive skin is dry. http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1404249
Also, the Eroscillator vibrator is hands down the best vibrator/toy ever! OMG. I am girl who loves her vibrator, but over time I found I was experiencing numbness from the hammer-like action from regular vibrators. Eventually, I had to stop using my vibrator until I came across the Eroscillator. The head oscillates, it’s gentle yet still really powerful. Completely worth the investment in me. I’m having much more satisfying orgasms since using it (bought mine in 2007). http://www.eroscillator.com
Thank you so much for the comment and recommendations, Cynthia!
I love what you said about you and your man becoming very present and playful with each other. That’s beautiful – and I’m sure it’s rather FUN too… 
Cynthia! Thank you so much commenting and sharing your product experiences – fabulous! Sex Butter is absolutely divine – and has so many other uses, too! I have heard sensational reviews about Dr. Ruth’s Eroscillator and am off to buy one for a ‘test ride.’
I agree wholeheartedly re: toys and lubes – they really do bring a lot of playful, in the moment FUN to our intimate moments – leaving everyone more satisfied, content and connected. Happy New Year! Ande