Once upon a time… in a life time far away… the mere wisp of a thought of your man caused a quivering wave to hit you below the belt and melted you on the spot. Wasn’t that nice?

Waiting for him to show up at your door freshly shaven, smelling oh so fine, destined to kiss you before the night was over… getting turned on was no big deal!

Remember way back then? That delicious sensation of anticipation? So – what happened?

If you and your darling man have fallen into a sexual rut, don’t panic. No matter how you landed there, you’re reading this blog and learning from the yearning.

The good news is you can break out of the routine and spice things up right away at home with just a couple of new tricks and tools. You may even start melting while reading this post – taking responsibility for your sensual, intimate journey can cause a powerful reaction!

Perhaps your sweetheart may be a bit shocked at first, but believe me, he will rise to the occasion in no time!

Lubrilicious Love

Using lubricants is both fun and seductive, especially as foreplay. As your guy is heading out the door, lean in real close and tell him you have a surprise waiting for him that night. Then send him a naughty text during the day to build anticipation. In fact, send a few…..

As your surprise unfolds and the steamy moment begins, relax and start off stroking massage oil over each other’s body. Often the simple sensation of slippery skin can be achingly erotic. I love the JimmyJane candle which, after burning for awhile, becomes warm massage oil. A wonderful sable brush is included so your partner can stroke your body with the hot oil – or you his – be still my heart!!!

I also recommend using Blossom Organics’ Moisturizing Lubricant and Zestra to enhance the ‘oh my and sigh’ to your intimate moment. These and many other sensuous products can be found at Bring Back Desire.

When the two of you are nicely warmed up, slather on an edible lube where ever you would like to nibble or be nibbled. You can put it on him, watch him lube himself or let him watch you. I hope you locked the bedroom door!

Viva la Vibrator!

Want to ramp it up a notch and bring back more than a wisp of fond, melting memories? Add a vibrator to the party!

It’s ok – you’re in good company. According to Dr. Laura Berman’s research center more women dabble with vibrators than you may think. Nearly 60 percent of women in relationships get into their vibe regularly, and the single gals come (no pun, really!) in just over 33 percent in the vibe category.

Here’s some frosting for you: women who use a vibrator have more sexual interest and desire; better arousal; easier and more frequent orgasms; and less pain during and after sex. In addition, better sexual function was linked to higher levels of sexual satisfaction and even enhanced quality of life. Good to you and good for you – is this exciting news or what?!

Don’t worry about your man being hesitant or jealous; research shows two-thirds of partners were found to be supportive of vibrator play. (Are you kidding, he would LOVE to watch…ask him!)

As you work to Bring Back Desire between you and your guy, try these toy box favorites: the Rabbit Habit (Charlotte’s fave from Sex and the City), the Silver Bullet (yes, wonderful things do come in small packages!), We-Vibe II (built for two!), and the Bunny Tickler (accessories are a girl’s best friend!).

Lather on the lube and buzz your way to bliss – the quivering waves of yesteryear will be with you again – only they’ll be better and stronger!

Andrea Lyons is the founder and CEO of Bring Back Desire a playful, tasteful website where women from around the world are rediscovering sensual pleasure and intimacy. BringBackDesire.com helps a gal “get out of her head and back into bed”!

Bring Back Desire is pleased to provide a free PDF copy of “Party Favors” – a sensual erotic short story about some rather adventurous couples… it’s written by the sensational author, Amelia James. Click here to download your copy now.

What does food have to do with sex?

Well, honestly a lot!

It shouldn’t be a big surprise.

You hear all the time about how certain foods can boost your energy, fight flab, and help you increase your mental acuity, so of course, there are foods to increase your sexual libido.

So if you are ready and wanting to turn up the heat with your partner, why not feed him or her these foods the next time you want to “get it on.”

Six Easy-To-Find Foods That Will Put Some Excitement Into Your Sex Life

Avocado

The Aztecs called the avocado tree “Ahuacuatl” which means “testicle tree.” Truth be told, if you ever have the pleasure of seeing an avocado tree, since this fruit hangs in pairs, they really do resemble male testicles.

Aside from their appearance, avocados have a sensual texture. If you are really adventurous, you could puree it, add some cocoa, a pinch of raw honey and play paint by body part if you feel so inclined.

Avocados are also high in essential fatty acids, B-vitamins and folic acid which are not only great for providing optimal health for your body but help ensure hormonal balance, and can boost your sexual energy.

Bananas

Bananas obviously have an erotic and phallic shape that oozes sexuality but they are also rich in potassium and B vitamins which are essential for the production of sex hormones.

The other minerals the banana contains are also great for boosting the male libido, so if you want your man to have more sexual energy, feed him a banana daily.

Figs

An open fig has often been described as the “beautiful essence of the female sex organs.” It has been said that this sensual fruit is a powerful, riveting sexual stimulant.

A great way to heat up the moment is to have your man open the juicy fig and lick the insides of the fruit in an erotic and sensual way. Of course, it will probably make you laugh but being light and playful is sometimes the most potent sexual stimulant.

Pineapple

Pineapple has been used for centuries to reverse male impotence. So feed this fruit to your man as much as possible. Enough said!

Pumpkin Seeds

This seemingly little seed is chock-full of sexual power. Since pumpkin seeds are high in zinc, they have the ability to increase testosterone production which naturally increase the male sex drive.

No wonder your man is so hot and steamy when he eats a handful of these.

Wild Salmon

Salmon is the king of essential fatty acids. These fatty acids are imperative to balancing sex hormones and can effortlessly increase your libido.

So make sure you feed your partner this delicious fish on a regular basis.

My challenge to you is to eat some or all of these foods. Take note to what happens to your sex life. These foods are not a magical cure but if eaten consistently over time, they can definitely add some pizazz to your bedroom fun.

Try enjoying them in bite-size pieces during an impromptu naked picnic on your living room floor; incorporate them secretly into your dinner menus; and make sure to keep them on your weekly grocery list.

Your sizzling sex life will thank you!

Kimberly Riggins is the creator of The Art of Eating Chocolate Naked, founder of The Love Your Naked Ass Warrior Series, and the upcoming author of the book, “Love Your Naked Ass: 80 Gentle Ways to Transform Your Life, Restore Your Serenity, & Rediscover Happiness.” Her mission is to help women all over the world fall in love with themselves and their lives. She teaches women it is possible to let go of their body image hang-ups, kick negative self-talk to the curb and shows them how to release their inner vixen, who so desperately wants to come out and play.

Her newest program, “Release Your Inner Vixen: Harness the Power of Pleasure to Ignite Your Sexy, Create Sizzling Relationships & Infuse More Fun into Your Life, With or Without a Man” is launching in January 2012. Get on the preregistration list to get your VIP status now.

Introducing a vibrator to spice up your love life might seem like a bit of an oxymoron, as they are largely associated with self fulfilment. However, introducing a sex toy into your intimate play can take your enjoyment of each other to a whole new level.

Try new things. Using an artificial stimulant such as a vibrator or erotic lubricant is a good way to find out a bit more about each other and your desires. Don’t be afraid to suggest doing things you haven’t done before or be inhibited by anything as it will dampen your mood.

Explore new ways to stimulate each other. Trial and error is the best way to learn about yourself and your partner. It doesn’t have to be a budget breaker either. There are lots of small, but effective toys on the market, such as vibrating cock rings which won’t break the bank.

Experiment with different types. The sex toy market is rapidly expanding with new products being launched every week. Many are variations on tried and tested favourites, like the ever popular ‘Rabbit’ vibrator.

Do your research on what’s on the market and check out all the reviews online before you dive straight in. The beauty of internet shopping is you can discreetly make your purchase in the comfort of your own home, avoiding potentially embarrassing trips to the local sex shop.

Build anticipation by discussing what you both like. When you are shopping for your sex toy and when it has arrived, talk about what you are going to do to each other with it and how this will make you feel. This will heighten your sensuality and arousal which in turn will intensify the experience and lead to a more ‘earth moving’ climax.

Have fun! Remember to relax and enjoy it. When you open up and express yourself as a sexual being you will develop a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner as a whole, fulfilled person. A sex toy could just help to unlock the door.

About the Author: Addison Randall is a thirty something writer and sex toy enthusiast, who regularly tests and reviews sex toys for a number of publications. Addison also regularly writes about sex and relationships.

Yes, it’s true. Most men are fairly easy to arouse. After all, they are very visual creatures.

You could just focus on his penis and jewels, and that will excite him but you would be cheating him out of an erogenous experience that I am betting he rarely has.

The truth is men have a number of secret spots and when they are stroked, kissed and licked right, you have the sheer enjoyment of seeing your man reel in pleasure before penetration even enters the picture.

Curious?

Next time you are in the mood and you want to heat it up with your man, pleasure these areas of his body first. And to make it even more fun, tell him he has to stay still (which means he needs to keep his hands to himself).

His Fantastic Feet

Now if your man is ticklish, you may not want to try this or you might want to at least warn him first, otherwise you might get a knee to the face. But if you are ready to see your man’s toes curl, rub the palm of your hand along the sole of his foot from heel to toes. Then gently twist your finger in a corkscrew motion in between each of his toes. Then gently tug on each toe, elongating it; rinse and repeat. Be prepared to see your man wriggle in delight.

His Tight Thighs

Okay, maybe his thighs are not so secret but when is the last time you lightly traced your fingernails up and down his inner thighs, without laying a finger on his member?

Try it. Stroke gently up and down from the middle of his inner thigh to just about the crevice of his pelvis region. Experiment with a light, medium and hard stroke. Watch for signs. When his body or the surrounding area start to quiver, you found the spot.

His Hearty Hands

There is nothing more sensual than tantalizing your man’s fingers with your tongue. As I have said, men are visual creatures. Watching you suck on his finger, scraping your teeth up and down its flesh will indeed remind him just how powerful and luscious your tongue can be.

His Sexy Stomach

I don’t know about you but my favorite part of a man’s body are his abs. The crevice where his pelvis meets his waist…that indentation, hot damn! If you want your man to get a little frisky, begin with this region. Start by leaving soft, gentle kisses up and down his treasure trail, stopping to play with his belly button. Tease him by running your fingers, and mouth along the waistband of his pants from hip to hip. He will be twisting with excitement, dying to participate. Make him wait.

His Chiseled Chest

If you want to send a shiver down your man’s spine, play with his nipples. They are ultra sensitive and love to be kissed, sucked and nipped. Start with the left one and move to the right, circling back and forth until you feel his back arch. He is getting hot. Almost ready.

His Notorious Neck

A man’s neck, especially behind his ears all the way down to his collarbone, is super sensitive. Kissing this area, feeling your lips, tongue and breath on his skin will definitely ignite some serious sensations “down there.”

His Magical Mouth

Yum, his tasty lips. Start with a gentle, light kiss. Slowly lick or pull his
bottom lip into yours, making sure to give special attention to the corners of his mouth. Repeat with the top lip. Then give him a deep, powerful, long kiss.

I’ll leave the rest up to you. Writing this left me all hot and bothered. Imagining my man reeling in pleasure sure puts me in the mood.

Have fun.

Kimberly Riggins is the creator of The Art of Eating Chocolate Naked, founder of The Love Your Naked Ass Warrior Series, and the upcoming author of the book, “Love Your Naked Ass: 80 Transformative Ways to Change the Way You Think and Feel About Yourself.” Her mission is to help women all over the world fall in love with themselves and their life. She teaches women it is possible to let go of their body image hang-ups, kick negative self-talk to the curb and shows them how to release their inner vixen, who so desperately wants to come out and play. To learn more about Kimberly and her services, visit kimberlyriggins.com.

Flirting. It’s in our DNA. We, as women, were born to flirt.

Flirting has the ability to allow us to get whatever we want. It is also absolutely necessary to keeping the romance in your love life alive.

And let’s face it, flirting is super FUN.

Remember when you first met your man, and you caught his eyes for the first time?

Remember what happened when you smiled his way, tilted your head, perhaps played with your hair or gently caressed your neck and chest, or touched his arm or back?

He payed attention. Why?

Because you payed attention to him. In a word, you captivated him, all by averting the attention from yourself and showering it onto him.

You hung on his every word (without even realizing it), you secretly thought about massaging his chest, kissing his lips, and couldn’t wait to be alone with him.

And then somehow life happened. You moved in together. Got married. Had your 2.5 kids and well, for most of us, the romance died.

I know, after 5, 10, 20 years, you might think that romance is unnecessary or maybe you think it’s impossible to bring back but I disagree.

I think you can bring the romance back. And keep it very much alive.

Check out these 5 ways to bring the spark back into your romance.

Talk to Him With Your Body

Body language. Need I say more? If you want your man to pay attention to you (like he used to when you first started dating), touch yourself. Play with your hair, caress your earlobe, tickle your neck, lick your bottom lip, look at him suggestively, eying him up and down…I promise you, he will find a way to get as close to you as possible.

Touch Him

Remember when you first started dating, and every time you touched him, you both felt a tingle or tickle down your spine? To recreate those sparks, touch him inconspicuously. While you are out to dinner or having a drink, brush your hand over his. While you are walking down the street, gently put your hand right above his waistline. When you are sitting in the movies, touch his thigh while reaching for popcorn. While laying next to him, gently place your feet next to his so they lightly touch. The point is to touch him constantly without having to be suggestive.

Give Him the Power

What would your man do if you asked him to make all the decisions on your date night? (You do still have date nights, right?) Let him pick out your clothes, your shoes, the shade of lipstick you wear, where you go, what you do. Regardless of what he chooses, go with it. You will be totally amazed how much pleasure you both will get from this.

Pull Out Your Sexy Panties

Why save your sexy panties or your special clothes for those special
times…birthdays, anniversaries, weekend getaways? Why not wear them now. Put them on under your sweats, your office wear, your everyday attire. Make sure you give your man a sneak peek while getting ready for work, or do something daring like wear your silk cheekies with just an apron while cooking dinner, check your email while sitting in your lace thongs or better yet, sleep naked. You get the idea.

Share With Him One of Your Fantasies

When he least expects it, while he is driving the car, drinking his morning coffee, taking out the trash, share with him one of your most secret fantasies or one of the sexy dreams you had about him. Be as vivid as possible. Then walk away. He will have created an image that will last the entire day and when you reconnect later that afternoon, watch the fireworks explode.

Have you had any success with any of these ideas? Do you have other ways to bring the romance back that you would like to share with us? I would love to hear from you. Drop me a line in the comments below.

Kimberly Riggins is the creator of The Art of Eating Chocolate Naked, founder of The Love Your Naked Ass Warrior Series, and the upcoming author of the book, “Love Your Naked Ass: Making Peace With Your Body, Your Self and Your Thoughts.” Her mission is to help women all over the world fall in love with themselves and their life. She teaches women it is possible to let go of their body image hang-ups, kick negative self-talk to the curb and shows them how to release their inner vixen, who so desperately wants to come out and play. To learn more about Kimberly and her services, visit kimberlyriggins.com.

The Stranger Game

Bloop! Jenna’s PDA signals a new email as she munches on her bland leafy green salad outside a chain café downtown.  She rummages for the phone in her oversized purse hurriedly only to find that it is an email from her husband, Jeff.

“Meet me at Bloozer’s at 9pm. Dress like you’re 22 and single and bring clothes for work tomorrow.”

What the hell? Jenna types back, furiously, “What about the kids? I have a nail appointment tonight!”

“The kids have plans,” Jeff responds.

“What about my nail appointment?” Jenna’s question is met with no response.

Jenna’s walk back to work is spent tossing Jeff’s intentions over and over in her mind. Why would he be so inconsiderate of my plans? What the hell are the kids doing tonight? They’re six and ten. They don’t have plans. It’s a damned school night! This had better be worth my time or someone’s toothbrush is being used to brush the dog’s teeth tomorrow.

Jeff is not answering his phone and Jenna finds herself getting angry as she parks her car in the Bloozer’s parking lot. Jenna and Jeff met at Bloozer’s about eleven years ago. It hadn’t changed a bit. Jenna’s black strappy heels stick to the floor as she steps into the smoky bar. She scans the room for Jeff but doesn’t see him. Her irritation increases and she finds herself feeling slightly self-conscious.

“Hey! Yer real pretty.” Jenna spins around to see a man, slightly impaired, nursing a beer at the bar.

“Excuse me?”

“I said yer real pretty. You wanna have a drink with me?”

“No thank you. I’m married.” Jenna shouts over the music and white noise. She feels naked in her short black dress and thinks that when she sees Jeff, she’ll punch him real hard for making her do this.

“Just cuz yer married, don’t mean ya can’t drink for free, lil’ lady. Whatcha usually drink with yer old man?”

“Um . . . whiskey. On the rocks, please.” The man compliments her on her taste in hard liquor, orders her the drink, pays for it, and, surprisingly, leaves her alone. Jenna sips it, still irritated and still contemplating the delivery of her punch to Jeff.

“Excuse me,” a familiar voice says from behind her. “I noticed you standing here and wondered what such a beautiful woman was doing all by herself.” It was Jeff. Jenna’s eyes squint as she prepares to unleash a barrage of questions when Jeff extends his hand and says, “I’m Jeff. What’s your name?”

Huh? What the . . .  Then it hits her. Two months ago, they were reading a magazine about ways couples can spice up their marriage. There was one called, The Stranger Game, where couples meet up at singles hangouts and pretend to have one night stands with each other. She’d said she liked the idea, but Jeff thought it was stupid and a complete waste of time.

“Uh . . . Jenna,” she stammers as she stares at her husband, dressed all sexy-like and looking smooth. Jenna’s frustration with him melts as she shakes his hand. Awww . . . how sweet.

The rest of the night is spent talking and flirting like two young, irresponsible singles. They drink a lot, flirt wildly, and then take a cab to a nearby motel, where they screw the hell out of each other in ways they’d never imagined as a married couple. The fantasy enables them to explore each other in new ways and not let the monotony of their routine (like dinner and homework and dishes) get in the way.

The two take a cab back to the bar in the morning and both return to their cars. Jenna finds that changing is difficult in 55-degree weather and that gas station toothpaste just isn’t the same when you have to use your finger as a toothbrush. But it was all worth it. Coming home to Jeff the next night, not speaking of their exchange, treating it like a true one-night-stand, made for great sex throughout the entire week!

The Kissing Game

The rules are established.  A movie is chosen.  You drink every time a door slams, someone spits, or says the word, “pickle.” You finish your drink and refill whenever shoelaces are mentioned and the game continues into the night until everyone is completely wasted, most are only partially clothed, and at least one is vomiting into a salad bowl.  This is the classic Drinking Game I played in my early twenties.

But alas, my early twenties are over.  In their place are fun-filled days of office drudgery, evenings spent by making dinner, and chasing a small child around the house while pleading with my husband to stop giving him cookies before bedtime.  On the rare Saturday evening that we spend alone, my husband and I can easily find ourselves confused and bewildered.  It seems like a good opportunity to get in some quality time and focus on our intimacy, simultaneously, but how?

And so I return to my roots as an adult!  The Drinking Game!  Easily converted into a sexy game for couples, I present you with . . . The Kissing Game.  In this game, you and your partner will choose a movie and then set rules.  You’ll choose five (or so) actions to be watched for in the movie, called “triggers.”  Also, you will choose five corresponding responses that you and your partner must perform when the triggers occur.   What makes this sexy, you ask?  The responses!

Every time a trigger occurs onscreen, you must kiss your partner.  You cannot kiss the same place twice.

I’ll give you two examples.  The first example is the movie, The Princess Bride, a Rob Reiner film about pirates and princesses and love and all that squishy crap.  Chicks love it.

Rules:

Kiss your partner each time:

1. You hear, “Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die.”
2. You hear the name, “Humperdink”
3. Vizzini says the word, “Incontheevable!”
4. Anyone is shown swordfighting.
5. You hear, “As you wish.”
6. Them movie cuts back to Fred Savage and Peter Faulk.
7. Westley defeats a new obstacle or enemy.

My second example is the movie, Beetlejuice.  What?  Tim Burton movies aren’t sexy, you say?  Hmph!  Irrelevant!

Kiss your partner each time:

1. The Handbook for the Recently Deceased is shown or mentioned.
2. The town model is shown or mentioned.
3. Sandworms are shown or mentioned.
4. Lydia takes a photo.
5. Delia’s sculptures are shown or mentioned.
6. Charles mentions wanting to relax
7. Someone says or attempts to say the name, “Beetlejuice.”

You’ll have kissed every inch of your partner’s body and, provided you’re not a major prude, their genitalia has got to have been one of those parts.  Who knows . . . with all that kissing, you may just find yourself stopping the game for a quick round of some even sexier play!

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The Body Alphabet

The Body Alphabet is a simple little game. It’s perfect if you don’t want to do a lot of prep work, or spend a lot of time asking questions, reading cards, playing with a board game, etc.

The rules of the game

One partner will tell the other that they are thinking of a body part that starts with the letter “?” (insert the letter that corresponds to the body part you are thinking of)

The second partner then gets to try and guess the body part. If they get it correct, then they get a kiss from the first partner wherever they request it.

You then switch and the second partner chooses the body part, while the first partner guesses.

If the guessing partner gets it wrong, then they have to give a kiss where the other partner wishes.

You may want to limit the number of guesses, so that the game doesn’t drag on while a partner tries to guess a difficult body part. Usually between 1 – 3 guesses is good.

Example scenario

You choose tongue for your body part. You tell your lover that you’re thinking of a body part that starts with the letter “t”.

Your partner guesses “tongue” right off the bat. You then have to give them a kiss wherever they want it.

OR

Your partner has two guesses and goes with “toes” and “teeth” – which are of course incorrect. They then have to give you a kiss, wherever you wish it.

Taste Touch and Guess

The warmth of flickering candles splashes across your partially clothed body as you lie, perfectly still as requested, on the bed. You are blindfolded and can hear your lover rustling around the room, busying themselves with the preparation for the sexy game they proposed you play. You’re a little bit excited. You’ve been with your partner for six years now and it’s been at least four since you did anything interesting in the bedroom. There was a discussion a few nights ago. This discussion, about feelings and boredom and needing something fresh has lead you to this instance . . . blindfolded and hoping they don’t put a clothespin on your sensitive parts or anything..

The sound of an aerosol can tears you from your thoughts and you could swear it was the sound of whipped cream. Hmm. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all, huh?

“Ok. You can get up now.” The voice is soft and a little sultry. You almost laugh because it’s obvious that they’re trying to be sexy. You stand, disoriented and groping for the dresser to steady yourself and hear them lie down on the bed.

“Your job is to find the items on my body and tell me what they are. If you get all five of them, you get to choose a fantasy.”

“That’s all,” you say.

“You’ll stay blindfolded. You can’t use your hands and you’ll need to use your tongue.  I’d suggest starting at my earlobes.”

Ok. So, that might be interesting. You do start at their earlobes, first the left, then the right. Gently kissing and sucking on them, you don’t taste anything. When you move down to your lover’s neck, they lets out a soft sigh and you feel the response in your own body. This game might not suck, even if this blindfold is itchy.

The other side of their neck proves to be a bit more rewarding. Your kisses are met with the sweetness of honey.  The sticky substance fills your mouth and it takes several passes to get it all off of their skin. The rules of the game pop into your head.

“Honey,” you exclaim into the darkness.

“What?”

“No. It’s honey. On your neck.” You’re proud of yourself for winning.

“You are correct.”

“Yessss.” You continue kissing their body, using your tongue and lips to search the flesh for other tasty treats. On your journey, you find chocolate body paint on their right nipple, powdered sugar on their collarbone, white chocolate body paint on their left hip, and pillows of fluffy whipped cream covering their entire pubic area.  Licking that off was awesome.  In fact . . . it took a while until you actually got to ask for your fantasy.

—–

I think the best kinds of sexy games that couples can play are original games; ones that you make up on your own and that you don’t really have to buy supplies for. This game, Touch, Taste, and Guess, is just as it sounds. One partner is blindfolded, the other leaves small bits of tasty foods all over their body and the blindfolded partner must find and identify each food item. Correct guesses equal a sexy reward.

This game can also be done without food items, but with different objects:

Collect several different textured objects: a feather, a piece of soft fabric, an ice cube, a smooth rock, etc.  Blindfold your partner and caress their body with the objects. Your partner must guess what you are touching them with. Again, correct guesses are rewarded with a steamy prize.

This game is excellent foreplay and gets the blindfolded partner very focused on sensory stimulation, so whatever you do ends up being more effective!